There is no way we are making this flight. 

Vasco hasn’t even showered yet.

That means he hasn’t moisturized, which means he hasn’t decided what he’s moisturizing with. That doesn’t get decided until he’s done listening to Mary J. Blige  in the shower… which, as you know,  he hasn’t done yet.  Vasco is by far the most extra person I have in my life. And I cannot imagine my life without him. 

“I’m almost done,” he says, as he goes into his bedroom closet for the third time. He thinks I don’t know he hasn’t  packed yet.

“Take your time,” I yell back… not meaning a word.  But there is no reason to get upset at this point. Chicago traffic will be Chicago traffic , TSA will be TSA… if we make it, we make it. I don’t know if Vasco brings out the zen in me or if I’m just numb to his special kind of pain. All I know is that in the two years we’ve known each other, he’s mastered the art of running late without actually being late to anthing,   

My name is Christopher P. Chase. Vasco and I… or is it Vasco and me… anyway, we met on Grindr, I was your typical verse top who turned out to be a total bottom once the clothes fell off. I butched it up for as long as I could but eventually Vasco just looked at me and said “Chris, it’s cool. I don’t need you to be what you think I want.”

I couldn’t tell if he was throwing shade or a lifeline. Either way I was happy to drop the act —even if it didn’t lead to sex.

But it did lead to intimacy. Turns out I needed to be held without being touched. 

That night Vasco and I talked about celebrity crushes, the baby strollers taking over Boystown, and how the mayor tried to cover up the Laquan McDonald murder. I’m a history buff so I really loved his insights about 1500 Portugual and the Age of Exploration. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t talk about, really.

In many ways our sexless encounter was the perfect hook up. 

*****************************

I came out after high school but didn’t start going to bars until after I graduated from Northwestern. As a result, most of my friends in college were either girls who liked that I wasn’t trying to fuck them or straight guys who treated me like the guest star in an eighties sitcom.

Though every now and then one of them would start asking questions about gay sex as if it was purely for academic reasons…

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